I Hate Being a Loser.

For as long as I've remembered, I've always hated losing. It doesn't matter how pathetic the game or bet is, I will be the worst sore loser in the history of losers. I mean, I'll get over it in an hour or two but the immediate reaction isn't pleasant and almost always has me challenging you to another game, best out of three. (I mean because if you beat me once you should be able to do it again right? RIGHT? RIGHT?)

This also makes me a horrible winner too. I gloat. It's a disease, almost. And yeah, I totally play for bragging rights. Screw the shiny prizes, ribbons, plaques and whatever else comes along with being a champ. Okay, I may or may not also play for the cash prizes, but for sure, I play to throw it back into your face.

It may be because of my father. He taught me that there's ever only one winner. Anything else is loser-status. "Second place isn't first place so it must mean loser-place," he used to say, verbatim. He also made sure my siblings and I knew that if we lost it was because we didn't play hard enough.

Needless to say, my younger siblings didn't care too much for this competitive nature and were okay with coming in second or third place, sometimes even succumbing to not placing. Ick. I didn't like this tactic. At all. I hated having my siblings on my team. Why? Because they were just playing for fun. FOR FUN? WINNING IS FUN. Ugh just thinking about it gives me migraines.

You might wonder who would want to play with me if I'm like this. Birds of a feather, flock together. I have friends who are just as competitive if not more who are honestly, the "most fun" to play with.

Whatever. The point of this post was because I lost this weekend. I lost all the games we played this weekend at the Game Night I hosted. UGHHHHH.

And if anybody tells me not to take it so seriously, MAN, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP. You obviously have not won a thing in your life. Pfft. loll

Measuring Your Importance.

Time. Simply put.

The more time I give you, the more important you are. It means that I think you are worth something. It means that the things you say and think are interesting. I don't expect anything from you except that you don't waste it.

Time that I spend on you and allow you to have, is something I cannot take back from you. Once you have it, it's yours.

It's something that I've set apart, just for you. And that's how you know, how important you are to me.