On Being Alone.

My parents left me at the grocery store when I was around 13 or 14. I'm sure they didn't do it intentionally.

They drove off while I was loading the car with our groceries. It happened so fast. While I turned away to grab the last two grocery bags, a door slammed and tires peeled away. Exactly like a getaway car. I looked up in time to see the trunk door slam shut.

And then, silence.

I stupidly and half-heatedly chased them. I could have screamed. I could have ran harder. I could and should have done a lot of things but when my parents made that right turn out of the parking lot, I knew it was over. I was on my own.

I walked to the parking lot's exit and searched for the car's back light but they weren't there. I remember earnestly thinking and trying to clam myself down, telling myself they'll come back for me...they have to. I'm their firstborn! I STILL HAVE TWO BAGS OF GROCERIES! Wouldn't they need their food?!? But after a few minutes, I knew they probably didn't even realize I wasn't in the car.

So I started walking.

I remember being really upset at my parents. How could they be so careless?? I also remember being really mad at my younger brother. Why didn't he say anything to my parents?! He was sitting in the backseat where I should have been!

As I approached home, an uncontrollable wave of warmth rose from the pit of my stomach. By the time I reached the last stop sign before our house came into view, my tears had blinded me. I was tripping over my own feet. One brown paper bag had ripped and the contents had spilled through the bottom. I kept bending down to pick them all up but couldn't see anything.

It was the first time I felt truly alone.

* * *

I don't know why I'm sharing this with you.

Labels: , , , ,

A Catharsis of Sorts.: On Being Alone.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

On Being Alone.

My parents left me at the grocery store when I was around 13 or 14. I'm sure they didn't do it intentionally.

They drove off while I was loading the car with our groceries. It happened so fast. While I turned away to grab the last two grocery bags, a door slammed and tires peeled away. Exactly like a getaway car. I looked up in time to see the trunk door slam shut.

And then, silence.

I stupidly and half-heatedly chased them. I could have screamed. I could have ran harder. I could and should have done a lot of things but when my parents made that right turn out of the parking lot, I knew it was over. I was on my own.

I walked to the parking lot's exit and searched for the car's back light but they weren't there. I remember earnestly thinking and trying to clam myself down, telling myself they'll come back for me...they have to. I'm their firstborn! I STILL HAVE TWO BAGS OF GROCERIES! Wouldn't they need their food?!? But after a few minutes, I knew they probably didn't even realize I wasn't in the car.

So I started walking.

I remember being really upset at my parents. How could they be so careless?? I also remember being really mad at my younger brother. Why didn't he say anything to my parents?! He was sitting in the backseat where I should have been!

As I approached home, an uncontrollable wave of warmth rose from the pit of my stomach. By the time I reached the last stop sign before our house came into view, my tears had blinded me. I was tripping over my own feet. One brown paper bag had ripped and the contents had spilled through the bottom. I kept bending down to pick them all up but couldn't see anything.

It was the first time I felt truly alone.

* * *

I don't know why I'm sharing this with you.

Labels: , , , ,

2 Comments:

At July 31, 2013 at 7:37 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh jeez.. reminds me of that one time my mom forgot to pick me up from school when i was 6 or 7.. so i walked home.

 
At August 16, 2013 at 3:17 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for being transparent Xeech. -Aladdin

 

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