On Time Travel. And Spirits.

I like to think that there's something more than our brains, more than hormones being released, more than reflexes and reactions to stimuli.

The other night, I stayed up thinking about time travel. It wasn't that elementary thinking like ohh where would I go if I could go back in time or into the future. No. I was thinking...if time travel was an actual thing and we could remove our physical body from the present and somehow reappear at another place and time that we were previously at some point in our lives, would our souls or spirits and what essentially makes each of us unique--would that also travel with us? I can understand tangible like our limbs, nails, eyeballs, and boogers being sent through time and space, but how do you transport something you cannot see...or don't even know to be real to some other dimension?

Did any of that make sense?

So yeah, that's what kept me up the other night. I frightened myself.

If you were able to sit through all that blah blah blah, I guess I'll answer that question of where I would go if I could go if time travel was real.

* * *
We were on our way home. My parents had dressed us up and taken us to a Hmong celebration somewhere in town. I remember playing with the decoration of my traditional hat, cold beads between my fingers. We stopped at a park where my parents let my brother and me out. We ran on the greenery like puppies, as if we had never seen grass before. I remember not being able to breathe because I was running so fast and hard. My hat kept falling off and my mom wanted me to take off so she could hold it for me. But I wasn't having any of it. All I knew was that it was pretty. And it was keeping my head warm. It must have been early fall or late summer because with the setting sun, steam rose from my sweaty head whenever the hat came off. My dad chased me, caught me, and lifted me onto his shoulders. The sudden rush of height overwhelmed me. My dad isn't a very tall man but to a small child, it was exhilarating. From then on, I knew that I wanted to be in elevated places. I love the feeling of my stomach lurching through my body.

As we left the park in my dad's Chevy Caprice, my parents shouted out the windows, "X and J, we're going home now. Come back home with us or else you'll be in the cold by yourself. X and J, we're going home now. Don't get left behind." I remembered asking them, "But...why are you saying all that? We're both right here. Can't you see us?" My mom turned and smiled at me, "Of course we see you. We're calling your spirits back to us. Baby spirits sometimes forget to come back."

In the back seat, I quietly whispered for my spirit to come back to me just in case it didn't see me run back to the car. I didn't want to be a soul-less body. (Is it okay that I used spirit and soul inter-changeably? Haha, well I did. So suck it.)

* * *
I want to go back to this time because I want to pop beside my mom's window and be like, HI MOM AND DAD, I'M THE SPIRIT OF X...but from the future, sort of. Hahahhahahahahahaha