I Don't Want to be an Old, Ugly Cat Lady.

"You need to cry. You need to cry over your breakup. We think that's what's best for you right now. Your problem is that you haven't cried over it. It's unnatural that you haven't shed a single tear since the breakup."

"I have cried over it. When I was in the relationship, nearing our end, I cried a lot and now that it's over, I have no more tears for it. It's over. I've left it all behind. And I just don't want to cry anymore; it's tiring. That's the reason I left...because I was tired of being in a relationship where I cried often."

And come on, admit it: girls who cry too much can get super obnoxious. Super fast.

Last night, I did cry however. I cried because I don't want to become jaded. I don't want to be mistrustful of every guy I meet, always thinking that they have an agenda. I don't want to have self-fulfilling prophecies about relationships, thinking that the next guy I'm with will somehow mess up. I don't want to have my guards up. I know some of you will regard me as naive and possibly even reckless, but when I fall in love, I want it to be completely unadulterated. I don't want to compare the next guy with the last.

After every broken and lost relationship, I feel like I am slowly become that person. That person who sneers at talks of falling in love and being loved. That person who gives out relationship advice that is rooted in spite. That person who needs to find a fault with every guy they are with just because she thinks that she's been in enough relationships to know that "guys are all douchebags." That person who thinks that everything remotely kind said to her is a lie.

There is a fine line between being cautious and being a difficult bitch. I don't want to ever cross it. I want to let every guy who I have interest in, prove themselves to be who they are, not by my experience and expectations. If they're a douchebag, they'll be one in time and it will be on account of their faults. And if they aren't, well then, I'll see it in time as well.

I cried because I don't want to be an old, ugly cat lady who hates and complains about everything (lol yeah I have my priorities in check). They're just always so unhappy! I don't know what I would do with myself if I were ever that unhappy all the time. Being that unhappy requires so much effort.