Heads and eyes bowed in reverence. My eyes, wide open focused forward towards the pulpit. A man with outstretched arms had words meant to bring peace. But my heart did not feel peace. Not there. I wondered if these people around me truly felt peace. And if they did, what was wrong with me for not feeling the same peace right then and there.
I sang along with them. I knew the melodies, the words. I knew what they were supposed to mean, but to me they felt empty and hollow. In my life, they no longer held the value they used to hold.
I'm quite sure you exist. I mean, I've felt Your presence once before, not too long ago when I was young. But those thoughts, feelings, and values no longer hold the same meaning they once did.
Have I fallen?
Was I ever true?
Sinful. Sinful. Sinful. Intruder.
And all the others pass me, unaware that I have been taken away.
How can I feel so wrong, when everything I am makes me feel so real?Labels: sinners