My Inner Fat Girl is on Time Out.

This past weekend, my friend says, "We should make a pact. Let's get rid of this." Then she proceeded to grab the non-existent fat around her stomach area. I agreed. What did I have to lose? This will all go towards my well-being.

I was super pumped for it. I scoured the interwebz for recipes. I looked up exercise circuits I could follow to trim down and tone up. I even found pictures of flat bellies to motivate me. I WAS PUMPED.

Ugh.

Day 2 of clean eating and I'm ready to give up. My flesh is so damn weak. I walked past Starbucks and couldn't help but see the muffins. They were screaming out to me: LOVE ME! LOVE MEEEEEE! I love muffin tops. They're the best and they make everything in the world better. I buckled. I'm weak and I have no self-control.

When I got to my desk and I couldn't bring myself to look at the muffin, let alone the bag that held it. I'm too proud to fail and admit weakness. So I left the bag unopened by my computer.

Two hours later (as I'm writing this post): I've succumb and opened the bag. I licked the muffin top. I couldn't bring myself to eat it. I chucked it. I FEEL SO DIRTY ENJOYING THAT LICK OF GLORY. So I'm putting my inner fat girl on time out. She's been reckless.

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A Catharsis of Sorts.: My Inner Fat Girl is on Time Out.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

My Inner Fat Girl is on Time Out.

This past weekend, my friend says, "We should make a pact. Let's get rid of this." Then she proceeded to grab the non-existent fat around her stomach area. I agreed. What did I have to lose? This will all go towards my well-being.

I was super pumped for it. I scoured the interwebz for recipes. I looked up exercise circuits I could follow to trim down and tone up. I even found pictures of flat bellies to motivate me. I WAS PUMPED.

Ugh.

Day 2 of clean eating and I'm ready to give up. My flesh is so damn weak. I walked past Starbucks and couldn't help but see the muffins. They were screaming out to me: LOVE ME! LOVE MEEEEEE! I love muffin tops. They're the best and they make everything in the world better. I buckled. I'm weak and I have no self-control.

When I got to my desk and I couldn't bring myself to look at the muffin, let alone the bag that held it. I'm too proud to fail and admit weakness. So I left the bag unopened by my computer.

Two hours later (as I'm writing this post): I've succumb and opened the bag. I licked the muffin top. I couldn't bring myself to eat it. I chucked it. I FEEL SO DIRTY ENJOYING THAT LICK OF GLORY. So I'm putting my inner fat girl on time out. She's been reckless.

hashtag-firstworldproblems

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2 Comments:

At May 24, 2012 at 12:30 AM , Blogger oh honey said...

LOL chee.. you're so silly.

it's claire btw and i post private stuff so if you want in, lmk?

 
At May 24, 2012 at 10:02 AM , Blogger Steve said...

Damnit, I had my entire comment written and then I clicked Preview and Blogger sent it off into the void, never to be seen again.

Anyway, I rofled that you licked a muffin top -- that's bold and admittedly arousing.

Keep a visual log. On a calendar, use green circles to indicate days/meals you stuck to the plan and red Xs to indicate failures. As you progress, all the green circles will provide encouragement and help keep you motivated. It's basically a star chart for adults and it works. IT WORKS. Use star stickers if you want!... and buy some extras for me, pleasee?

 

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