A few years ago, I came out of a relationship thinking I had learned something about myself: I asked for too much.
"You want more than what I can give you."
"I can't give you the attention you need."
"I don't have enough time for you."
And what probably cut the deepest: "You're too needy."
For a while, I held on to those words and let them harden me. After a few years, I eventually came to the conclusion that neither of us were at fault. We had just outgrown one another. Of the four statements he made, only three were true: yes, I did want more than he could give me. And yes, he wasn't able to give me the attention I needed. And yes, I knew he didn't have enough time for me.
But he was wrong when he said I was too needy.
I never asked for diamonds and pearls. I never dragged him to go shopping so he could purchase expensive bags or shoes for me. I never expected lavish gifts and fancy restaurants. I only ever wanted some of his time. And maybe for him to share more books with me.
It has taken me years to finally learn that it's perfectly fine to want to feel special. Everyone has their own way of feeling special and nobody can tell us what should make us feel special. I feel the most special when somebody gives me the time of day, where it's just the two of us. *Queue Will Smith's Just the Two of Us*
And nobody can ever tell me that I'm being too needy because I know what I want.
Labels: just the two of us, life lessons, needy, time