On Eavesdropping and Minding Your Own Business.

I ran into a friend on my commute yesterday morning. Being that we see each other often, I avoided the small talk and immediately asked him about his job search and lady friend. He told me she's leaving soon and that he's not sure how he's going to deal with the long distance.

"I don't know if we can do long distance."
"Well, if you knew that, why'd you start anything in the first place?"
"I don't know. Just to try, I guess."
"I never understood that. Starting something with somebody, growing attached, and then having to let them go. It's just...difficult, don't you think?"

Before he could respond, the train arrived at his stop. We exchanged goodbyes and as I watched him leave I heard somebody mutter something nearby. I ignored it. You know--because living in the Big Apple (why do they call it that??) has made me really good at ignoring words and people, especially on trains. I also really hate that awkward eye contact you make and then have to quickly dart your eye away to the space underneath their ears in hopes they didn't think it was a moment.

Then the muttering got clearer, "I think people start something and grow attached without the intention to really let them go."

Then he said it a little louder, "Excuse me...I don't think people start something and grow attached without the intention to really let that person go. It just happens."

As I walked out of the train, I turned to see the face of the voice of what I assumed to be a hopeless romantic. And boom, that was enough for him to hold his finger up to try and stop me from being carried away with the rush hour crowd. I didn't stop. Who the hell stops and starts a conversation with somebody who eavesdrops on a conversation?!? (We weren't even talking that loudly, how could he even eavesdrop?!)

He caught up with me somewhere on the stairs and this time, more confidently, "You really can't think that people just get into relationships thinking that it'll ultimately end in heartbreak."

Again, I tried to ignore him by zig-zagging through my fellow commuters. Still, he kept up. "You can't. You can't possibly tell me that you think people think far ahead enough to stop themselves from falling in love with somebody?"

I guess I had had it because the next thing I did was turn around to rudely say, "Ughh, just mind your own business dude!" Then I flipped my hair, turned on my heel in my pink sneakers, and stormed down the ramp to my next train in my true dramatic style. (This--what I do--I've learned, is truly dramatic and completely unnecessary but I can't help it.)

Weird, creepy guy averted. Wrong.

As I got into the elevator at work, I heard a stomping of feet and an arm fly between the closing elevator doors. UGH! The only alone time I have in the mornings is oftentimes this elevator ride up 19 floors. WHYYY WORLD, WHYYYYYYY?!?! And who, but the man who I just told to mind his own business, walked in.

It was like the entire point he was trying to make earlier was mocking me. This of course made me want to wail and shake my fist in the air. So I did what any normal person would've done: I pretended that I had never ever seen him in my life and ignored him. It didn't work.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I really think you're wrong. Or you've been extremely hurt in the past."
"....."
"I just think that people don't start relationships thinking or knowing anything that far ahead."
"....."
I think the awkward silence in that elevator was enough to last me a lifetime. No more awkward silences for me, thank you.
"Which floor?" I pointed to the buttons without looking at him.

He pushed a button on his side and stayed silent the rest of the short ride up. At the 17th floor mark, he took out a business card and handed it to me.

"I'd like to take you out sometime. Please give me a call if you're interested."

I looked at his card from the corner of my eye. Ugh, he does work in this building. I didn't reach out to grab it. And it's not even the fact that I'm seeing somebody that deters me from taking his card. It's the fact that I am just so annoyed.

"Don't over-think it. It's just dinner or drinks or something really chill, if you'd like."

Pfft. Me? Over-think? Yeah right. As if I could over-think anything if I tried.

"I'm actually with somebody. Thanks, though."

He smiled genuinely and tucked his card back into his pocket. Part of me almost felt bad for telling him to mind his own business earlier. But not. Because I am heartless and have no soul.

I think I just really wanted to be alone in that elevator.