Oh This? This Is Made Out of Girlfriend Material.

Recently, while out with my friends one night, I felt a tug on my skirt. I turned around and glared at the back of my skirt where the perpetrator’s hand had lodged itself. “Sorry! I just...I just wanted to feel it. I wanted to know what kind of material this was,” he stuttered.

I violently pulled my skirt back to my body and let my eyes travel up his arm to his face. And boom! There he was. My anger immediately dissipated. I had expected the person to be a creepy, overly obese, hairy guy ridden with yellow fever paired with an obsession for women’s clothing but it wasn’t.

He was unconventionally handsome, in so much of a way that I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off him even if you gouged my eyeballs out. I was still creeped out and a little peeved but I did a double take, then a triple, then I just forfeited by pride and stared. Yep, still handsome.

In a fit of sudden adrenaline and fear, I blurted out, “Oh this...this is made out of girlfriend material.” We locked eyes. I expected him to throw himself at me, I mean—I just did. Plus, he totally set himself up for that and I thought it was such a great comeback. But nothing, he did nothing. Nothing.

Then, in a weak attempt to not appear desperate, I blurted out in an even more frenzied panic than my sad excuse of a pick up line, “...It’s just wool. Here.” I offered my skirt to him but he just shook his head and walked away. Is this how guys feel after getting rejected? Ugh, no wonder so many of them believe it’s a numbers game.

Hey! I tried, alright!? Can’t I live?!

One can argue that pick up lines are unoriginal and for the inexperienced and maybe they’re right, but let’s be real: when you’re trying to talk to a girl and you have absolutely nothing to go on, the best way to get her attention is to make her laugh. For me, it’s pick up lines. I’m a total sucker for pick up lines. Cheesy ones, nerdy ones, even douchey ones. I love them all. I can’t explain it. There’s something about the ridiculousness of pick up lines that makes me laugh, and that’s all I want: to have a good time when I’m out.