My roommates are pretty much the best. They're like the older sisters I never had and really wanted.
There have been mornings when they've woken up to find another stranger on our futon. At first they were confused: Who were these guys? And why did I let them sleep on the futon and not my bed? Needless to say, I think they've gotten used to seeing them there and no longer ask questions.
Recently, we had a conversation about this.
Roommate #1: Why don't these boys go home if they can't get in your pants?
Me: I don't know...?
Roommate #1: What do you even do?
Me: Well, usually we sit and talk for a little bit. Then I tell them I'm need to use the bathroom and then I never go back to the living room.
Roommate #1: And they stay?
Me: Well, they usually knock on my door before they leave in the morning.
Roommate #1: If a girl wasn't giving it up to me, I'd be out of here without hesitation.
Roommate #2: It's because you're too accommodating.
Roommate #1: Maybe not, one time a guy didn't even have a pillow.
Roommate #2: You just need to act surprised and say, "Oh you're still here?" They'll leave.
Roomate #1: There's got to be something all of these guys have in common. What is it? Are they all young?
Me: Well, they come from all walks of life and range in age.
Roommate #1: Something's wrong with them. All of them.
Roommate #2: If they keep coming around, I'm going to start charging per night. Even if they don't get laid.
Roommate #1: We will be running a no-sex brothel. Wonderful.
Yes, most of the time, boys will bring me back to my apartment. And yes, almost all of them will always ask to use the bathroom. And because I don't take bladder issues lightly, I usually always let them up. (I'm too trusting for my own good. I should probably learn how to say 'no.' This could one day be my downfall.)
Why don't they end up in my bed?
1. Because I'm a prude (hahahhh).
2. I've also come to like sleeping in my bed alone, therefore I never let them step inside my bedroom.
3. I don't find the sexual tension or chemistry between any of the guys I've gone on dates with, remotely worthy of stripping down to my undergarments.
4. Okay--it's probably most likely because by the end of the night, I don't really want to have sex at all because I'm so damn tired.
Labels: nothing good happens after 10pm, roommates